In my post “Healing from the Inside Out –The Inner Child, Part 1”, I wrote about a remarkable reading I had with my cousin, Stacey and her homework assignment from Spirit. This article, the second in the series, is the beginning of what is proving to be an incredible healing journey.
As directed by Spirit, Stacey scheduled a formal time for the healing of her inner child, age by age, to take place. She put out two chairs – one for herself and one for the younger version of herself. Coincidentally (but then again everything happens for a reason, so coincidence? I think not!) a week prior, Stacey’s mom had given her the chair she sat in as a toddler. Spirit had obviously already started working on this assignment in advance!
In the past year, Stacey had begun a meditation practice. Quieting her mind was not new to her. She settled in, called in her guides and angels for support and invited in her two year old self. Intuitively she knew this was the age she needed to start. In her mind’s eye, she saw a small girl appear, holding a baby doll. The child appeared a bit frightened and shy. Stacey envisioned herself getting down on her knees, asking if she could hold her baby doll. The child obliged. Stacey explained she was an older version of her and comforted the girl, telling her there was no need to be scared. She asked the child how she was feeling and why she had come.
The girl replied that she was lonely and didn’t like the dark. She didn’t want to be alone.
Stacey talked to her as if she was her own child. She told her it was okay to have those feelings. She explained that she was in a safe place and would always be protected. They played together on the floor and Stacey continued to soothe her, letting her know she was always there to support her. She could always call on her when she felt afraid, alone or sad. Stacey reported an unexplainable feeling that healing was occurring.
What I didn’t know about my strong and beautiful cousin until this “interview” was that she had always been scared of the dark. Even now, in her mid-40’s she sleeps with the light on. She doesn’t recall how the fear began, only that it’s been present for as long as she can remember.
A few days after this session, Stacey awoke in the night and went to make her way to one of her children’s rooms. She approached the dark hallway. It appeared darker than normal and the familiar fear took over. As she turned to get her husband to accompany her, she stopped. Looking down by her side, she saw the same small child she had soothed in her meditation. At that moment, she realized, it wasn’t her, the current version of her that was afraid of the dark. It was the two-year-old version of her.
The fear had always belonged to the two-year-old version of her.
In that moment, Stacey was able to separate the present, perfect version of herself from this child who had spent so much time in fear. She took the child’s hand and thanked her for reaching out for help just as she had told her she could. She took a deep breath and together they went down the dark hallway.
Stacey’s fear of the dark has lessened its hold on her. Together, she and her inner two-year-old take on dark hallways and nighttime bathroom breaks for the dogs. They talk about the fun it will be to see the dogs run and play instead of focusing on the unknowns that may be lurking. Stacey hasn’t totally relinquished the need for a light by her bed but she’s making progress and is celebrating every step along the way. And I celebrate it with her!
I asked Stacey if, one day, she expects the two-year-old to be fully integrated with the current version of her and therefore, “disappear.” She doesn’t think so. She hopes not. With the child’s presence, she is able to discern the emotions and fears that are hers and those that belong to her inner child. For Stacey, it is a powerful reminder of being in the present moment. As she reminded me, there is no past, there is no future, there is only now.